


Flower Boy

by cafeakira



Category: Hunter X Hunter, Killugon - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9786530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafeakira/pseuds/cafeakira
Summary: Gon Freecss is new in town.Killua Zoldyck is his mute neighbor.





	1. Daisies

**Author's Note:**

> To my beautiful readers,
> 
> I'm sorry for the lack of updates on my Killugon books Since You've Been Gone and Taboo. I've somewhat lost muse and motivation to write them, so I planned this four part Killugon story I suddenly got in the mood to write, as my last Killugon fic for awhile. I hope you guys won't stop supporting me though and keep reading my books as it makes me really happy <3
> 
> Enjoy this fic as it's dedicated to you all.~
> 
> Love,  
> cafeakira

There's just something about flowers that brings the world to life. I'd like to think there's something beautiful amidst the ugliness in the world. All the different colors stark against the vastness of the universe that is it's easel.

The way their petals feel; the way they're shaped. All the different kinds. It puts me in awe. Flowers were just something extraordinary; whether they be found randomly on a hill or given as a gift. Their beauty didn't become any less.

Like the daisies along the side of the road. Little patches every few miles Aunt Mito drove and I'd press my face against the window of the car to catch a glimpse of them. It wasn't until we reached the hillsides that I'd pull away, my eyes widening as I saw how covered those hills were. Daisies as far as the eye could see, among the thick tresses of long green grass.

This was the beauty of the countryside. The nature almost always untouched.

"Look, Gon. That's the school you'll be attending." Mito-san pointed towards the side, her eyes never leaving the road as I pulled my face away from the cool glass of the car window just in time to catch a glimpse of the high school I'd be attending, come next week.

"It's okay." I mused with reluctance. Sure, I didn't mind the moving so much, but the new school...that was another story entirely. I just wasn't a fan of school, after finishing off my junior high years on a bad note.

"It'll be different this year, sweet boy. I know it will."

I admired my Aunt Mito's will to ease me into the idea, but I just wasn't having it. Propping my chin into the palm of my hand, I resumed my observations of my new home, and all it had to offer.

It wasn't long until I caught sight of our new house, just yonder over a small hill. We had few neighbors who I haven't met yet, but I know the one next door, as Mito-san had explained to me, had quite the garden separating our houses, complete with a white picket fence. Only reason I hadn't seen our new home was due to the fact that I had summer school, and I had stayed behind with a friend of Mito-san's, while her and my grandmother inspected the place. This had made my mood a little sour, as I recalled, upset that I was the only one who hadn't seen where we would be living. It was like my opinion didn't matter.

Not that I complained. I didn't have any friends in our old town. I, Gon Freecss, was the outcast. Labeled as too strange to even approach, though I do remember once, that someone did on a dare, a girl, and she had asked me on a date as a pure joke. The humiliation lasted for weeks, because I didn't know it was a dare until that same afternoon and I realized the girl stood me up.

Sighing, I lean back in my seat. This was my chance to start anew 一 to begin fresh. No one knew me here, and I had practiced to keep my strangeness to a minimum. Though Aunt Mito had reprimanded me when I told her, saying people who don't love the real me don't deserve my friendship. She just didn't understand that the real me was the problem. I wanted to change for the better.

"We're here!" Aunt Mito's voice drifted to the back seat and I look up to see a small cozy looking country-styled home in front of us, painted a turquoise green. It was pleasant on the eyes, and I found myself grinning as I unbuckled my seat belt, my earlier morose thoughts already forgotten.

"This is really it?" I asked, stepping up, eyes scanning every inch of the place. There was a wind chime twinkling from the slight breeze, potted plants and flowers along the bottom of the house, perfectly aligned with one another. The front steps looked like they had just been freshly painted and I was almost too afraid of stepping on them, for fear of scuffing them with my sneakers.

"So? What do you think?" Looking up, I saw Mito-san peering at me in concern, as if she expected me to say that I hated it.

"I love it!" I gush truthfully and she beamed.

"I told you that he would." My grandmother's voice cut in for the first time in a few hours, since she had slept the entire ride over here.

Leaving them, I walk around the side of the house, admiring all the different plants and flowers that brought the yard to life. Especially the daisies. I love daisies, mostly because Mito-san always used to sing me a song about them when I was little, to help me sleep. Fondly, I kneel down to pick one, twirling it in between my fingers as I stood up, the gentle wind blowing against my face. We had acres of land, about five if I remember correctly, a white fence separating our part from our neighbor's and as my eyes scanned the space, I saw we had horse stables along the side and I was beside myself. I've always wanted a horse. Maybe Mito-san would finally let me have one.

I walked further into the yard, the grass to my knees, until I reached the part of the fence that separated the back yard from the horse's pasture. I admired it with a smile curled up on my lips, climbing atop the fence till I was able to lean over it, feet on the bottom railing. There was no doubt in my mind that I would love it here. School was just the issue and I could only hope things would turn out to be different here.

Swinging my legs over the fence until I was able to sit down on it, I look out into the distance, the houses of the other neighbors far off. The quiet was one thing I was used to, being born a country boy from the start. Snapping pictures on my phone, I didn't notice that someone was watching me until I turned to jump off the fence, and I caught sight of a pair of eyes peering at me from behind a tree.

Having been caught, the owner of the eyes fearfully shielded themselves behind the trunk, only thing visible now to my eyes was the tuft of his fluffy white hair that poked out. Smiling, I land on my feet and ambled over to the tree, that was in between our two fences.

"Hey." I spoke out softly and was happy to see an eye make an appearance. That's when I noticed the color. A deep blue, like a sapphire, bringing out his entire appearance, as I saw his skin was pale white, and porcelain looking. "Why don't you come out?"

A shake of the head was given and he hid himself behind the tree again. At least, I assumed it was a boy, despite his feminine appearance. That one eye was enough to tell me that, and also, that he was so pretty. I was immediately enchanted by this boy.

"I won't hurt you." I continued, smiling effortlessly as I take a step closer. "I promise."

Hesitantly, the boy peeks his whole head out, giving me a good view of his entire face and my breathe hitched. I was right. He was fascinatingly pretty. His eyes practically sparkled in the falling sun. When he stepped out from the cover of the tree, I saw his fluffy white hair in all its glory, messy and falling over his pretty blue eyes. He was wearing an oversized pasty yellow sweater, that fell from his shoulders slightly, giving me a view of bony shoulder blades, the sleeves baggy, falling from his skinny arms. In one hand he clutched a bundle of daisies which he held in front of his face so only his eyes were peering at me shyly. His shorts fell above his knobby, scratched up knees and I saw for the first time that he was barefoot, his pale feet, dirt ridden. 

All in all, he was utterly beautiful.

"W-What's your name?" And I realized I was out of breathe, probably due to the fact that I had unknowingly held it on my intense scrutiny of the boy before me.

The boy didn't speak. He just backed away, his small hand clutching his daisies tightly, as if he was second guessing his decision on revealing himself to me.

"Don't be afraid!" I cried out desperately, not wanting to ruin my chance on making my first friend, but my loud voice only succeeded in frightening him further and he retreated back behind the tree.

"I'm sorry." I lowered my voice. "It's just...I don't know how to make friends you know?" Half his face peeks out at me. "Everyone back at my old home found me weird and refused to talk to me. They even made fun of me. Can you believe that?"

The boy looked like he was pondering my words for a minute before he shook his head, stepping out from behind the tree again, though he didn't stray far from it, the branches shading his face.

This urged me to continue, glad he didn't run away. I took his quietness as a sign of his extreme shyness.

"I didn't mean to yell." I grinned sheepishly, my tongue poking out from my mouth as I rubbed the back of my head. "I just wanted to talk to you."

His gaze saddened and I feared I said something wrong, so I quickly backpedaled so I could try to fix it. "I mean...d-do you want to be friends?"

The boy looked down at his dirt stained feet, toes wiggling into the grass as he thought over what I said. The span of silence that spread was enough to make me nervous and I pulled at the collar of my shirt anxiously before he looked up and nodded, the hint of a smile forming on his pale lips.

"R-Really? Great!" I pumped a fist into the air in pure joy and he nodded again, so vigorously, I thought his head would come flying off. He looked so delicate and frail after all. Really thin, making me wonder if he got enough to eat. I was just about to ask him if he was hungry, and even compliment the daisies he held, before Mito-san's voice sounded from the front of the house.

"Gon? Gon! Where are you? The moving truck is here! Come pick out your room and see inside the house!"

 _My room!_ I had almost forgot I haven't even explored the inside of the house yet.

I yelled back. "I'm coming!"

I tuned back to face the boy, but he was gone.


	2. Sunflowers

I was quick to learn the mysteries of the boy next door.

His name was Killua. He was fourteen 一 like me, except he didn't go to school. He was so frail and sickly that his parents forbade him to stray far from the yard.

And he was mute.

I learned this the night of the day we met. He sat cross legged at his bedroom window, waving to me to catch my attention.

I immediately scramble onto my mattress that I had the movers place by my window, and waved back to him, grin on my face. How lucky was I that his room was just across from mine?

He pulls what looks like a notepad into his lap and starts scribbling something on it before holding it up against the window so I could see.

_I'm mute._

I look slightly perplexed and seeing my look of confusion, he pulls the notepad back and turns the page to scribble something else, before showing me in the same process once more.

_It means I can't talk._

That's when everything clicked and I finally understood why he didn't talk to me earlier.

Because he couldn't.

My heart immediately weighed heavily in my chest as I took this information in. Not only was he so frail looking, he couldn't even talk! I felt angry, and I couldn't fathom why. These were things that just happened, as unfair as it was. I felt a wave of overprotectiveness wash over me.

I had to protect this boy. That was the thought that embedded itself into my conscious. No matter what I had to do, I would protect him.

* * *

The following week arrived, and that meant school. The days that had led up to it, I had used to get to know more about Killua.

Daisies were his favorite flowers, and cats were his favorite animals.

When I told him I would be getting a kitten soon, he was beside himself with glee, mouth wide open in silent laughter. It was honestly the cutest thing I ever saw. The way his small body shook as he doubled over, though the laugh was silent. I bet if he could really laugh, it would be the most beautiful sound in the world.

I didn't understand my complete fascination with this boy at first, other than the fact that I thought he was so pretty and mysterious.

It soon became clear as to why.

Despite his handicap, he was the sweetest thing. The morning after I moved in, Mito-san called up the stairs, announcing I had a friend over. Confusion laced her voice, probably wondering how I had made a friend so fast and not telling her about it.

Excitement surging through my body, I jumped off my bed and bounded down the stairs. There, at the bottom, by the front door, stood Killua, in an oversized grey sweatshirt and coffee brown shorts with flip flops on his dirt smudged feet. He looked small, and out of place in my living room, a frightened look in his eyes. Clutched in his small hands were a bundle of sunflowers.

"Killua." As much as I wanted to cry out his name in utter joy, I used my inside voice. I didn't want to frighten him off, after all. He already look scared enough standing by my Aunt Mito.

A look of relief flickers across his beautiful blue eyes as he holds out his bunch of sunflowers at me and I blink in surprise, taking them.

"Are these for me?" I ask and he nods, a pink flush rising onto his porcelain pale cheeks.

"Aren't you delightful?" Mito-san gushes and Killua startles, as if he had forgotten she was in the room. He scampers behind me and hides, face pressing into my back.

"Did I say something?" Aunt Mito looked worried.

"He's just shy, Mito-san." I explained to my wayward aunt. Though I was beyond delighted that he had opened up to me so quickly. "Plus..." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "He's mute."

A look of understanding crosses Mito-san's gaze and she nodded. "Oh! I see. I'm sorry dear!" Though she hadn't outwardly said or done anything to offend him in that aspect, my aunt still chose to apologize.

Killua stuck his head out from behind my back and looks at her before lifting his gaze to meet mine, and I smile at him warmly, encouraging him. His gaze flickers back to train on her and he nodded.

"He says it's okay, Mito-san!" I chirp, and Killua withdrew his head quickly back behind my back.

"We should probably put your flowers in water, sweet boy." Mito-san took my sunflowers from me and offered us a smile before disappearing into the kitchen.

"We're going to play outside!" I called out to her as I grabbed Killua's dainty wrist and gently tugged him outside into the yard. It was a beautiful morning, with the sun already hanging over us in the sky.

"I can't wait to get animals." I explained to Killua, as I helped him climb beneath the fence of the horse pasture so we could take a closer look at the stables. "Mito-san says I can get a few."

Killua blinks his blue eyes questionably at me, so I explain further.

"I'm getting a horse, a kitten and a puppy!" I was excited. "And Mito-san and my grandmother are getting chickens, cows and goats. For eggs, milk and cheese. Stuff like that. I might get a lamb too!"

Killua's sapphire blue eyes sparkled and I was immediately silenced by the sight of them. They were addicting 一 hypnotic almost. I found I couldn't tear my gaze away from them, until he caught me staring at him and would look away bashfully, heat rising to his cheeks.

"Will you keep coming over?" I ask, hoping this wasn't a one time thing.

Killua nodded vigorously and I grinned.

Mito-san brought us out lunch awhile later and me and Killua had a picnic on the front lawn. We had sandwiches, crackers with cheese and juice boxes. Killua seemed overly delighted and I wondered if he's ever done things like this. From the looks of it, I'd guess not. I was just happy he was eating. Lord knows he needs food in that scrawny, frail body of his.

Every once in awhile, I noticed the curtains on one of the windows on his house shift and I looked up to see a pale face, with dark menacing eyes looking out at us. It sent inward shudders throughout my body.

"Killua. Who is that?" I point to the window and the curtains close.

Killua turns just in time to see this and makes a face. He brought out his notepad and scribbled something onto it before handing it to me.

_That's my oldest brother, Illumi._

Brother? I swore I had caught sight of long black hair.

"How many siblings do you have?"

Killua proceeded to scribble beneath what he wrote already and I read it as best as I could upside down.

"Two older brothers, one younger brother and one younger sister?"

He nodded.

Killua looked so young and frail, I had expected him to be the youngest.

"Are you the only one who...can't speak?" I hoped I didn't sound insensitive.

He nodded, a sad look clouding his gaze.

_I must protect him._ I thought furiously.

* * *

When Monday morning of my first day of school came around, I was nervous to say the least. Plus, I'd be away from Killua.

"I'll be back soon." I reassured him when he came around to see me off.

He nodded, toes wiggling into the grass and I smiled despite myself. With a wave, I walked off to head for the bus stop. Upon exiting our acreage, I saw a few other teens and kids leaving their houses too and my hands tighten around the straps of my backpack. This was it. My new start. I could only hope things would be different here.

As my anxiety rose, sunflowers filled my thoughts and I smiled.

I was no longer anxious when the bus arrived and I was the first one on, situating myself way in the back, where I was joined by a girl with long, blonde curly hair that bounced on her shoulders as she took her seat.

The school was bigger than I thought when we arrived, looming over me as I made my way towards the front doors. Students mingled about in groups, talking and laughing together after being away for the summer. With nothing better to do, I found my locker and familiarized myself with the combination and with the rest of the school.

I found the blonde girl who had sat next to me on the bus with a girl of blue hair that was tied back in a ponytail. Upon spotting me, blonde girl pointed me out to her friend and they both looked at me and giggled. An instant flashback to the time I was stood up came to my mind and I looked away, hurrying on with my head bowed. I wouldn't go through that again.

The shrill sound of the bell sounded not long after and the hallways were soon packed with students heading towards their homeroom. Clutching my schedule tightly in my hand, I push through the crowd, towards where I saw my homeroom earlier and managed to get there in one piece. Slightly disgruntled, but at least I had all my limbs.

I entered the class and saw a girl with a blonde ponytail standing behind the teacher's desk, a light blue t-shirt on with a small pocket on the left hand corner that read Bisky in white letters. I assumed she was the teacher's assistant.

"Hi." She greeted me with a small smile and I nodded in her direction. "You must be new here."

"How did you know?" I asked, Since it was the first day of school for everybody, wouldn't it be hard to single out someone who had just moved to this town?

"Because I've never seen you around before." She pointed out. "I'm Biscuit Krueger, your physical ed and health teacher. You can call me Bisky."

_No way, she's the teacher?_ I blink in surprise. "But you look so young!" I exclaim, unable to help myself. Students entering the class snickered in amusement and I flushed.

She didn't look offended, though her smile was mischievous. "I get that a lot. Now why don't you take your seat, Gon?"

Of course she would know my name too. I quickly scurry to my seat, choosing one up front that was smack dab in the middle, seeing as most in the middle of the room and back were taken, thanks to my conversing with the teacher.

When Bisky started roll call, I find myself drifting, Killua coming to my mind and I wistfully wished he could be here, with sunflowers in his small hands and a smile on his face to match.


	3. Cherry Blossoms

_Months later. . ._

I wake up to the sunlight peeking through my curtains, bathing my bed in a yellow glow that reaches my face. A soft breeze blows and something tickles my nose. Sleepily, I open my eyes and find a petal settling itself on it. A pink one to be exact. Sitting up, I find my bed and room filled with一

_Cherry Blossoms._

It was cherry blossom season. My face lit up with delight as I leaped up and crawled over to my window. Next door, I saw Killua doing the same. Fluffy white hair blowing in the breeze as he poked his head out through his window. The sunlight bathed his face, giving his skin an ethereal shine that caused me to loose my train of thought and breath. He watched the cherry blossoms fill the air and ground beneath with bright, excited eyes before he turned in my direction, positively beaming. His behavior was like that of a small child; delighted at the prospect of something new.

And witnessing this sight with my own two eyes, I felt incredibly lucky. Blessed even, as the past months lazily wandered through my conscious.

Killua was my best friend, and ever since the first day we met, we did everything together, minus school obviously.

To my surprise, I had befriended another, Kurapika, who was a senior in my school, and whom I had one class with. Which happened to be Ms. Bisky's class一P.E. and health.

It was during a vigorous game of kickball. To everyone's surprise, I was the only one left in the circle to be hit. Kurapika had the ball. Until that point, I had dodged every attack he threw at me and I could tell he was getting frustrated. I had grinned mischievously when Ms. Bisky announced he only had one more chance to hit me before she declared victory to my team, who was cheering me on. The feeling that had surged through me at the sound of their chants was foreign for me.

Gray eyes blazing with determination, Kurapika threw the ball and I just narrowly dodged it as it whizzed past my arm.

Ms. Bisky blew her whistle shrilly. "Gon's team wins!"

"Nice game." Kurapika had told me later, in the locker room. I blushed. I remembered clearly, as if it occurred only yesterday, rather than months ago.

Since then, I wasn't alone at school, and when I met Kurapika's boyfriend, Leorio, I was even happier, though the absence of Killua was strongly felt in every fiber of my being. I didn't tell them about him yet, wanting to keep his beauty to myself for awhile longer, the wave of overprotectiveness washing over me. Though the strain and longing I felt was worn on my face, making me an open book full of emotions.

"Yo, Gon." Leorio had spoke up one afternoon during lunch at school as I opened up my bento box.

I feigned innocence. "What's up?" I knew something was amiss as soon as he spoke in that tone, for my mind was on Killua at that brief moment, and I had sighed.

"You know what's up." Kurapika scoffed, his gaze stern. "You daze off a lot and I want to know why."

He could be such a mom sometimes.

"It's just." I twiddled nervously with my fingers. "I've been hiding something...or rather, someone, from you both..."

They look at each other, blinking, before turning back to me.

"Oh?" A smirk plastered itself onto Leorio's face. "You have a girlfriend, don't you?"

I blushed, and Leorio howled when Kurapika elbowed him in the ribs.

"N-no!" I waved my hands in front of me frantically as I watched a bickering session between Kurapika and Leorio unfold before me. "He's my best friend!"

Their shouting match stopped and they both turned to me, their expressions bewildered.

"He's very precious to me...and I...I want to protect him so..."

"So you kept him a secret." Kurapika finished with finality as he sat back in his seat, nodding his head. "I get it."

"Well, I guess I understand that." Leorio had scratched his head, a mildly disappointed look on his face.

"Do you want to meet him?" I had offered, ready to share my treasure to the world...well, at least to them two.

* * *

"I'm going to play outside, Mito-san!" I call out on my way down the stairs, slipping my boots on in a rush before sprinting out the door.

Killua was already waiting for me, beneath a cherry blossom tree our yards shared, the pink petals flowing elegantly through the air, before fluttering to the ground, the fence, or in our hair.

He was barefoot as he almost always was, pale feet covered in the beautiful flowers as well as his hair. He giggled as one perched itself on his nose, and I marveled at the sight.

_He's so perfect._

Not only that, I could hear Killua's laughs now. They weren't normal laughs一more like squeaks if anything, but I grew to love them, like I loved everything else about him. And because of him, I learned sign language, to make it easier on him so he wouldn't have to carry around a notepad and pen all the time. He had really appreciated it, and was taken by surprise when I had finished my course and had greeted him in sign language.

He even cried tears of joy. His small body had shook with the pressure of them, and I had to hold him close to soothe him, though he had assured me he was okay. He was just really happy.

Making him happy was my priority.

I wasn't sure what kind of life he lived with his family, but it must be hard for him not knowing how to speak, to voice what he wants. My overprotectiveness of him only grew more furiously when he had told me his brother Illumi could be manipulative. It pained me to think of the things he probably got Killua to believe or do, though Killua always looked happy, but being who I am, I knew perfectly well what a smile could hide.

As much as I wanted to talk to him about it, ask him questions, I didn't. Instead, I focused wholly on making him happy, to retain his smile, like something that must be preserved. Because it honestly did, forever.

"Hey, Killua." I chirp, as we sat on the fence surrounding my horses paddock, watching as my horse trotted around and catching cherry blossoms with our hands. "You think you could sleep over today? I invited Kurapika and Leorio over, and I want you there too."

He turns to face me, sapphire blue eyes alight with happiness as he nods so vigorously, I was afraid his head would come flying off. At least he wasn't as skinny as before though. I made sure of that. And his skin wasn't so ghostly pale anymore. It now had a pinkish healthy tint to it, making him glow when the sunlight was on him at the perfect angle. It always made him look like some ethereal being.

To me he was. He was the epitome of something beautiful.

"Great!" My grin spreads across my face from ear to ear. "They'll be here any minute now."

Killua nodded again, tugging my shirt and pointing towards his house.

"You want to get your stuff?"

Another nod. _Tug tug._

  Then I understood. He wanted me to go with him.

"Okay." I beam at him. "Let's go."

* * *

In the months I have known Killua, not once have I ever stepped foot into his house. Every time I asked, he dodged the question and tugged me in the opposite direction. So being in his room was absolutely foreign to me. I didn't know what to expect.

It was exceptionally neat and tidy, unlike mine. He had one dresser with books lined up along the top, as well as some figures. A small tv perched in one corner on a night stand with his bed situated directly in front of it. A desk was in another corner of the room with a lamp and sketchbook in the middle, with pencils next to it. Curious, I ambled over to it while Killua dug into his closet.

The drawings inside were stunning. The paper was parchment and felt nice against my calloused fingers; rough after all the years I spent outdoors.

All he drew was flowers, but he depicted them exactly how they were in real life. His latest one, from what I assume, was of sunflowers and seeing the bright yellow flower on the page curled my lips up into a smile.

He's my flower boy.

A tap on my shoulder causes me to jump and I turn. Killua now held a bag over his shoulder and he was bouncing on his toes in excitement. Who was I to keep him waiting?

I hold out my hand with a smile and he grins, taking it into his own and our fingers interlace. This gesture causes my heart to thump incredibly fast and I couldn't fathom why. As we headed down the stairs of his house, I pondered as to all the possibilities of why.

We've held hands before, so why is this any different? I wasn't sure, but every time we did, I felt like I was older than him by a few years rather than a few months. He was so small and fragile, it was an easy feeling to inscribe itself on me.

_Maybe because I like him? Like, like him like him?_

But I was quick to throw that option out the window. He was my best friend after all; the one I cherished above all else and swore to protect.

"Killua."

A hard, cool voice cuts into my thoughts and I turn my head as we reach the front door.

There, at the entrance to the kitchen stood Illumi. Sleek black hair tossed over his shoulders so it hung down his back. His eyes were dark, and deep, like an abyss waiting to swallow me whole.

Killua furrowed his brow, a sign I've come to know that indicated he was upset. He turns his face away, but I don't, making me catch sight of Illumi staring at our held hands with a face void of any emotion.

I shivered.

"Where are you taking him?" He asked with a tilt of his head, noting the bag slung over Killua's shoulder.

"He's-" But Killua cuts me off, signing furiously to Illumi that I could only blink rapidly, trying to follow his quick fingers. But before I could, Killua opens the door and tugs me outside.

* * *

"Your brother is scary." I commented, once we were in the safety of my room. He nods his head as he dropped his bag by my bed.

That's when I face-palm myself.

"Are you sure it's alright if you stay over?" I asked quickly, the thought of needing his parents permission never crossing my mind.

He nodded again as he perches himself politely at the end of my bed.

"Gon!" My Aunt Mito shouts up the stairs. "Kurapika and Leorio are here!"

"Send them up!" I shout back, and soon I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

Killua hops up from the bed just as Kurapika and Leorio enter through my bedroom door.

"Oh! Killua is here already." Kurapika smiles gently at him, while Leorio ruffles his hair.  

"Hey, Killua!" He bellowed, loud as always.

Killua just rolled his eyes and I giggle. I was happy he was used to them both.

He signs to me that he was going to use the bathroom and I nod, while Leorio and Kurapika made themselves comfy in my room.

I wasn't aware I had been staring out at the door, where Killua left, until Kuraika cleared his throat.  

"Earth to Gonnn. Are you there?" A hand is waved in front of my face and I am seemingly pulled back into reality.

"Uh, yeah! What?" I blink, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly.

"You were staring at Killua until he disappeared, and you didn't regain your focus when he left." Kurapika quirks up an eyebrow curiously.

"Oh, um..." I frantically search my mind for an excuse. "I was just-"

"You like him, don't you?"

I froze. _Like_ _Killua?_ This was exactly the same thing I asked myself earlier.

"I-I...." I stammer, avoiding looking at them both.

But it became clear as day to me. My thumping heart. The way I cherished him. How I thought he was the most beautiful boy I've ever seen.

I liked Killua.

Maybe I was even in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I haven't been replying to anyone's comments as of late, but just know that I read every single one and they make me day <3 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this update!


	4. Roses

When Killua came back from the bathroom, I couldn't even meet his eyes, causing his brow to crease with worry.

Kurapika nudged me hard in the ribs. "O-Ow." I whined and he shot me a look that said your-feelings-are-written-on-your-face-idiot.

_Well gosh._ I huff. _Not my fault._

Killua tugged on my shirt and I turn to face him, finding a pout formed on his pale lips.

_Crap._ He's so cute! I blush.

Another hard nudge, this time in my back. I jolt.

"U-Um, sorry Killua! I was just thinking about your brother." _Good save._ "I just don't want you getting into trouble cause of me."

Killua waved a hand in dismissal, climbing on top of my bed and pointing to the tv.

I laugh. "Alright, alright. We'll put a movie on. Help me make the popcorn and snacks, Leorio. Kurapika, pick a movie and put it on."

Despite my older friend's complaints, I tug him down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Stop complaining." I hiss.

"I wanted to pick a movie though." Leorio complained and I rolled my eyes. For someone three years older than me, he was pretty childish.

"You can pick the next one." I start digging through the cupboards for a big bowl to put the popcorn in. "Find the popcorn and make it."

By the time we were done and heading up the stairs, we had a big bowl of popcorn, a plate full of s'mores stuff, a bag of chips and a carton of sodas. This was my first sleepover so I wanted to go all out.

"Special delivery!" I chirped as I pushed my bedroom door open with my foot. At the sight of all the snacks, Killua's eyes sparkled while Kurapika's widened in shock.

"We're eating all that?!" He exclaimed, tutting his tongue afterwards. "You're begging for cavities."

"I don't get cavities!" A widened smile stretched across my face from ear to ear, revealing my perfectly aligned white teeth.

He just rolled his eyes and caught the soda Leorio tossed at him before settling down in one of the bean bag chairs in my room. The movie _Jurassic World_ was on it's main menu on the screen of my tv.

"Killua helped me picked it out." Kurapika explained before I could even ask.

Killua beamed at me and I couldn't help, but to smile lovingly at him, as I climbed up onto my bed and sat cross legged next to him, bowl of popcorn and plate of s'mores in front of us. Leorio was hogging the chips. Not that I minded, because the entirety of my focus was on Killua. The way the small dimples indented into his cheeks whenever his smile grew too wide. The way the tiny freckles sprinkled on his nose became more prominent when he wrinkled his nose cutely. It simply took my breathe away.

"Gon?" Kurapika's voice snaps me back to the present.

"Y-Yeah?"

"I asked you if you're ready for me to push play." He frowned.

"O-Oh! Y-yeah! Totally...ehehe..."

Kurapika kept frowning at me suspiciously before turning around to start the movie. I let out a sigh. I knew this would be brought up again later.

But for the meantime, I tried focusing on the movie, but as soon as it started, Killua clutches my arm, blue eyes wide as they fixate onto the screen. I couldn't suppress my smile at that. He really was like a child, despite being fourteen years old. He was much like me in that aspect. That's what Mito-san loved about me. That I didn't grow up too fast or too slow. It's no fun being completely grown up.

"You like it already so far, don't you?" I chuckled at Killua and he nodded. Every now and then, I felt Kurapika's eyes on me, though I chose to ignore it.

But as the movie went on, the staring became constant and I finally meet Kurapika's gaze and glared at him. "What?" I hissed between my teeth quietly, so Killua wouldn't hear.

Kurapika gestures to my bedroom door, as if he wanted to talk away from the prying ears of Leorio and Killua.

I really didn't want to miss the movie, and I crossed my arms in defiance, akin to a child throwing a tantrum. Kurapika hisses and strode upwards, taking a hold of my wrist tightly, forcing me off the bed as I whined in protest.

"Kurapikaaaa! We'll miss the movie." I glance over my shoulder to find Killua staring at my fleeting figure with cerulean blue eyes widened with concern. "I'll be back." I promised, just before Kurapika shut the door, Leorio's baffled expression cut off from my view.

"Explain." Kurapika wasted no time with his interrogation, gray eyes practically blazing with authority.

"It's not even that serious." I huff, turning away, my cheeks growing warm. Sweat began to trickle across my brow and I pull at the collar of my shirt nervously.

"You really do like Killua, don't you?" His voice was a mere whisper now; quiet, so it wouldn't travel through the closed door of my bedroom.

I sigh. Talk about having good intuition. He really was like a mom. "Yes." I mumble, my toe thumping on the wooden floor gently as I found the need to do something to keep from growing too anxious. "But it'll never happen."

"Why not?" Kurapika looked quizzical, genuinely not understanding the situation I found myself in.

"He's too pure for me, Pika."

"And you're not pure?" He raises a brow at me.

I blush heavily and my hands frantically wave in front of me. "W-wait! That's not what I meant! I am...it's just...you've seen him. He's so...delicate and innocent. I don't want to taint him." I look away. Wow. This conversation suddenly got deep. "I love him too much to do that to him."

A span of silence fills the hall and I began to feel dread, as it seeps into my body slowly, like a stream of emotions. Finally...after I felt like I would drown in my sorrow, in my past rejections and pain, Kurapika spoke up, voice gentle and full of love.

"Hey, Gon. You know Killua loves you back, right?"

My fists clench. "Of course I do. It's just...it's not in the same way that I do."

"And how do you know that?"

I scoff. "Come on, Kurapika. Do you seriously think he even knows what love is? Just because we're the same age, doesn't mean he's that far yet. He's like a child..."

"Or he might be smarter than what you're giving him credit for."

I become quiet, averting my gaze from my taller friend as I leaned back against the wall. "I just don't want to lose him if things go wrong, Pika..." My voice became soft, laced with frustration and practically pleading. Pleading him not to tell Killua or Leorio. These feelings I had I needed to keep buried deep in my heart, as much as it hurt. There was no point in talking about it any longer.

"They're probably wondering what happened to us." I mumbled, heading for the door. "Just forget it, okay?"

Kurapika doesn't respond and I head inside, back into my room, back onto my bed, and back to Killua.

* * *

It was almost midnight by the time we finished watching movies and playing video games. Killua had tried forcing himself to stay awake, but his eyes kept closing and his head drooped every once in awhile until he finally caved and his head lolled to the side, onto my shoulder, while I was in the middle of _Super Smash Brothers_ with Leorio.

This little scene didn't go unnoticed by Kurapika. His gray eyes pierced into my body, leaving me to shiver inwardly, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

"What are you looking at?" I finally hissed under my breathe so I wouldn't wake Killua, who shifted slightly, pressing himself closer into my side.

"You know what." He said coolly. I roll my eyes and fixate them back onto the game. Thankfully, Leorio was too into it, that he didn't notice the tension that had filled the room.

It wasn't until about an hour later, Leorio fell asleep and all that was left was me and Kurapika. I adjusted Killua carefully beneath a blanket, tucking him in, fully aware that Kurapika was watching my every move.

"I'm going to bed." I announced, sounding rather weary. I pull the blanket over me and turn my back towards him, feeling his eyes on me for awhile longer until I heard him lie back on his makeshift bed and shift around until he got comfortable.

I don't know how long I lied there, in the dark and quiet that had spanned across my room, giving a rather forlorn feeling to the atmosphere, much like the current emotions that were stirring like crazy within me.

Could I really keep these feelings pent up inside me forever? Just the thought of that sounded exhausting and painful. I didn't want to have to go through that. I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to confess to Killua. Ask him to be my soulmate so to speak. I wanted to whisk him away from his family and into a field of flowers, where we could twirl around in their stems and petals, with Cherry Blossoms wafting around us, their enticing scent filling our nostrils.

As childish as that sounded and as selfish as it made me, I wanted it to happen, with every fiber of my being. My heart was beginning to ache and I clutched at my chest. Is this what forbidden love felt like? Or did all love feel this way? It seemed that way in the movies. Love was just painful in general, I guess. So why did so many people want it?

_Because despite the heartache it brings, it's also the most beautiful feeling in the world._ Was the singular thought to pass through my sleepy conscious. To love and be loved. Both feelings entailed sacrifice from both parties, yet, when feelings are mutual...then, there's no words that could really describe every emotion, every thought, every bit of happiness that one could feel with that knowledge. Mito-san has never been married as far as I know, nor has she ever been in love. I was her priority and guilt formed at the pit of my belly at the notion. Everyone had the right to feel love at least once in their lifetime.

I turn onto my side, face resting on my arm as my eyes find Killua's sleeping figure in the near darkness of my room; the only light coming from the full moon outside, hanging in the midnight expanse that was the sky.

His chest moved up and down slowly, in rhythm to his breathing and I find myself loosing my breathe at such a sight. He was like a sleeping angel. So pure and beautiful. The thought of my image destroying that was too much to bare. In what lifetime did I even deserve to think of him in that way?

_You don't deserve him, Gon._ My conscious lashed at me, seemingly awake now. I quickly dismiss it.

I just needed to confess my feelings. Relieve the painful sensation that was practically stealing me of breathe. That's all I wanted.

With this resolve embedded into my mind, I turn over onto my back once more, letting my eyes shut tight, and ideas forming into my thoughts just before I drift.

* * *

I was up at the crack of dawn, just before the sun woke up. Quietly, I sit up, taking a quick glance around my room to find the other three still sleeping. Careful not to make any noise, I shift off my bed and tiptoe towards my bedroom door, where I exited before quietly shutting the door behind me.

Now for my plan.

Barefoot, I make my way towards the porch, stepping out into the dawn of the day, the sun barley starting to peek through the clouds. I take a deep breathe, smile forming across my face as I turn my face upwards with closed eyes. I now knew what it felt like to be in love and it was glorious. Even though I knew it wasn't mutual, the thought itself-the feeling itself, was indescribable. I felt light, as if I was being uplifted into the clouds, with a million butterflies flapping around in my belly.

I loved the most beautiful boy in the world, and whether he returned my feelings or not, he deserved everything.

With this thought, I make my way down off of the porch to the garden where Mito-san grew her roses. She had all the various colors; from pink to yellow, from white to red. They were beautiful. I run my calloused fingers over the soft petals, loving how they soothed my skin, that grew flushed from the morning cold.

I was going to pick some for Killua. If Mito-san got mad, then I would do a buttload of chores to make up for it if I had to.

One of my kittens ambles by, rubbing up against my leg as I got to work, causing me to pause in order to smile as I reached down to pet him, before resuming my work, humming leaving my lips.

I stayed on alert, in case I was caught in my plan. Praying I wouldn't be, my eyes would glance over my shoulder every now and then, making the task seem longer than it really was.

By the time I finished, I had a bouquet of a dozen roses, which I brought to the countertop in the kitchen, to carefully trim the bottoms.

Next, I dug through my grandmother's sewing supplies and found a blue ribbon. Perfect. I used that to tie the bouquet together; the finishing touch.

I contemplated my plan over and over again, as I sat on a stool at the counter. What would Killua's reaction be like? It would be so much easier if he could talk. But that thought was quickly pushed away. I loved Killua the way he was. I wouldn't change him for anything.

The creak of the stairs alerted me that someone was coming down, and I was quick to whisk up my bouquet and dash outside. This confession had to be perfect, and I knew just where to do it.

No sooner had I settled myself beneath the tree where I first encountered Killua, that a voice calls out my name quietly.

"Gon?"

Realizing it was Kurapika who had come down the stairs, I stiffen. I was ready to confess, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to face him after yesterday.

"Kurapika." I say in a rather strained voice. "I was expecting someone else."

"That someone being Killua?"

The hand holding my roses clench around the stems. "I decided to confess."

Kurapika crosses his arms. "It's about time you stopped being stubborn."

"Shut up!" I whine, just as more footsteps could be heard.

"Gon? Kurapika?" Leorio yawned with a stretch, Killua beside him, looking at me with wide eyes. I blush. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Gon has something important to do." Kurapika immediately heads over to Leorio, grabbing his hand and began tugging him back towards the kitchen.

"Oi一! Kurapika! What're-" Leorio protests, though those soon faded once they were both inside my house.

I was now alone with Killua.

I shift nervously from foot to foot, my bare toes tangling into the tresses of grass. Killua stood quietly, patiently, eyes never leaving me.

"Killua." I swallow, hands beginning to shake and I will myself to bring up the bouquet up to my chest. "I have something important to say, but I'm scared...so scared...you'll hate me for it."

Killua tilts his head, and he raises his hands, signing that he could never hate me.

I suppress the tears that were beginning to sting the back of my eyes and continued.

"Ever since I first met you, Killua, I was immediately enchanted by you. I thought you were the most beautiful person I ever met."

Abright pink adorns Killua's pale cheeks.

"And that's still true. Though, as time went on, my feelings grew." I swallow. This was it. "So much, that it hurts to keep it inside." I place a hand over my chest, roses now being offered to Killua, who reaches out and takes them, eyes bright and wide, as if anxious of what was to come.

"I love you, Killua. You're so beautiful, and precious to me. I took it upon myself to protect you, no matter what the cost, without your permission. And I'm sorry. But I don't want to lose you. I want you to be happy, to always smile. You deserve to. Like you deserve everything." The tears escaped, and started to roll unbidden down my cheeks. I let them.

"Everything about you, I love. I wouldn't change you for anything. You're perfect. As perfect as anyone could get and I'm in love with you."

A span of silence greeted my words, one where Killua stood there, frozen, small hands clasped around the bouquet, eyes piercing into mine.

My heart sunk to the pit of my belly. I expected this, but it still hurt.

Just as I was about to open my mouth to offer a stuttered apology and make a hasty retreat so I could cry in my bedroom, Killua drops the bouquet...and leaps at me.

Flustered, I quickly caught him in my arms, his lips clashing into mine unexpectedly.

They were soft.

My eyes were wide in surprise as Killua presses himself against me, hardly giving me time to react as he keeps the kiss going; arms wrapping around my neck. It took me a moment to process this and realize that it was really happening.

I was kissing Killua.

Or rather...he was kissing me.

It was better than I could ever have dreamed of.

I didn't notice how long we kissed, nor did I notice Kurapika and Leorio watching us from the window.

All I noticed was Killua. How soft his lips were, how warm his body was and how simply and exquisitely beautiful he was.

After a moment, we pulled away, gasping for air. Killua smiles at me, precious pale cheeks flushed from our kiss. I hardly dare to speak.

He then raises his hands and signs something that brings my heart from the pit of my belly where it had dropped priorly, back to the confines of my chest.

'I love you too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, 
> 
> I know this story was short and sweet, but it was a little something I just decided to write to get me out of this funk I've been in. I do hope that you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This finalizes my last Killugon fic, at least for awhile. A Sword Art Online Kirisuna fic is in the works as well as an Ereri fic and possibly a Klance one. I'm not sure how often I'll update my Pokémon fic 'For You? Anything' since hardly anyone seems interested in it, which saddens me. But I hope just because my next fics won't be Killugon, that you guys won't read them. I really want you all to enjoy my writing and other shipments I have. So your continued support is hoped for and I hope my next fics will be just as popular. That's my dream. Help me fulfill it. 
> 
> Much love,  
> awkwardraven


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